SPEAKER_00 0:04

You're listening to the Hanging with the AD podcast, where we break down hot topics in athletic administration and lessons learned through leadership. Now, you're your hosts, Josh Matthews and Don Baker.

SPEAKER_02 0:17

Welcome to another episode of the Hanging with the AD Podcast, where we talk leadership, culture, and the journey through athletics with those who are making an impact in the world of sports and beyond. In today's episode, we're sitting down with Alex Demchick, a former Division I quarterback at the University of Missouri, who has since become a best-selling author, speaker, and entrepreneur. Alex co-wrote The Tale with John Gordon, a book that puts integrity at the center of personal and professional success. He's also the author of Thrive You and The World Needs Your Book, and he's helping others tell their stories through his company Streamline Book. In this conversation, we talk with Alex about the four laws of integrity outlined in the tale, the importance of mentorship, and what it truly means to be a high performance leader. We also dive into practical strategies for encouraging others, the art of public speaking and why integrity, not talent, is the real foundation for lasting success. If you're a coach, athletic director, or leader looking to lead with purpose and make a meaningful impact, this episode is full of insight and inspiration. Let's get into it. Here's our conversation with Alex Demchick.

SPEAKER_03 1:36

Alex, we're so glad to have you joining Don and me for this episode of Hanging with the AD. It's great to have another famous author joining us on the podcast.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

Well, Josh, sorry to let you down. I don't know if I'm very famous, but I've been hearing hearing good things about your show. And uh thank you guys for having me.

SPEAKER_03 1:51

Hey man, you got a book with your name on it. You're famous in our in our one that both of us have read. So you're famous to us for sure.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

Well, it means a lot. Hopefully, if it took you a few hours, you know, hopefully it was a few hours well spent. Hopefully, you're not thinking, will I ever get those hours back? But uh it means a lot. Thank you guys for doing that.

SPEAKER_03 2:09

No, it's great. We're gonna talk a lot about your book, The Cell, but uh yeah, great. But for our listeners, Alex Demchick, I think I got that name right, is an author, speaker, consultant, and entrepreneur. Alex is a former D1 athlete who played quarterback at the University of Missouri. He's also uh, as we've already alluded to, this book, he co-root co-wrote the book, The Cell, with former Hanging with the AD podcast guest, John Gordon. Uh, that's what we're gonna put as his moniker, not oh, you guys. You guys have John on the podcast too. That's great. Yeah, we've been blessed to have John on the podcast and the AD round table. So uh yeah, so it's been great. So now we've got the the full complement of the book, The Cell, on here. So um Alex written other books such as Thrive You and the World Needs Your Book. He is co-founder of Streamline Books, a company that helps potential authors get their books written and published. So if you have a dream of writing or or getting a being an author, Alex and his company might be your uh your go-to here. But uh let's stop right there and let's let Alex tell us a little bit more about his journey through athletics. Alex, we like to call it the back of the baseball card bio. No, you're a football guy, but take a minute, maybe tell us what the back of Alex Demchick's baseball card would look like.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

Yeah, back of the baseball card or football card. Uh, I actually played baseball up until seventh grade, and this would be interesting for your podcast because it was because of a coach um that I had who was um I was scared to death of. I actually ended up quitting baseball as my passion in seventh grade. And so I think that has definitely that experience. Well, I probably should have been more uh mentally strong, I do share that when I speak to groups of coaches or ADs. It's like, hey, you you you can make uh an impact for good or for bad. And in that point in my life as a seventh grader, I perceive what the way he was treating others and myself as like very bad. And so I actually quit baseball. Um so that's that is a story that I will share many times with with ADs. But um just to fast forward to college. So I walked on at the University of Missouri. I um, you know, we were transitioning to the SEC, playing against those Georgia Bulldogs. And uh I will say we definitely in those early years, they whooped up whooped up on us pretty good. So I got to give it to you guys. But um uh but as a walk-on quarterback, you know, you have the mentality of like every day, you're trying to earn it, right? You're trying to um just survive, right? And my freshman and sophomore year, life was good. I had no complaints. And going into my junior season as a as a walk-on, you have a yearly meeting with a coach. And it's usually a very chill meeting, no big deal. And going into my junior season, I had the thought, you know, maybe this year I'm gonna move up on the depth chart. I've been working my tail off, doing all the right things by the program. Maybe this year is the year. And I go into this meeting room, and usually there was only one coach every year, but I went in this time and there were three coaches, and there was this circle table they were sitting at. And as I sat down at the table, one of the coaches got up to close the door. And I'm thinking, all right, I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, uh, but this is not a good start to the meeting, right? And um, he sits down at the table and he looks the coach in the middle looks right across the table and he says, Alex, I want to shoot you straight. We have over-scholarshipped at quarterback. We are bringing in someone to take your spot. And like at that point in my life, as you guys know, being athletics, like sometimes it almost becomes your identity, right? A football player, athlete, coach, whatever. And in that moment, essentially what he's telling me is like, Alex, you are not good enough. Like, you don't measure up. And so that crushed me. And I remember walking out of that meeting room, and before I guess before I walked out, they said, Hey, you have two options. Number one, you're cut. Or number two, you can stay on the team as this assistant volunteer coach. Like, we'll find a role for you. Uh, by the way, you need to decide right now what you want to do. And so my mind's racing. I'm thinking, what in the world do I say to these guys? I'm mad, I'm frustrated, I'm embarrassed, I'm all these things. And so I was like, I guess I'll stay on as a coach, whatever, whatever that means. And so they all stood up, they shook my hand. It was like a business deal. You know, I get you guys are in athletics, maybe you guys can have, you know, different things like this, but it was a business deal. They walked me out of the room, and I remember walking past the person who took my spot. I knew who he was. And obviously he's excited. I'm not. And I remember just going out to my truck and and and crying and feeling so humiliated, like this was my dream, my passion, fill in the blank. And this was all taken from me in an instant. And um, and I just remember like that was a very hard few weeks of my life. And you know, as a college student, I'm asking one of those big questions like, what am I gonna do with my life? What why me? You know? And it was a few weeks before the first practice. And I was like, you know what? Speaking of John Gordon, like you mentioned, I'm like, you know what? I gotta find a positive way through this. Maybe you know, it'll be all good. So maybe I'll maybe I'll do this coaching thing and I'll be the next Nick Saban or the next Dabo Sweeney. You know, like I'm having all these thoughts. And so I show up to the practice and I'm like, you know what, I'm gonna make a positive out of this. I walk in the room, uh, the facility, and I'm thinking, you know what? I'm a junior in college, I've been with the program. Surely they'll hook me up. They'll give me the nice gear. I see you guys are wearing some nice gear today. Uh, they'll give me the nice Nike shoes. So I walk in with those thoughts, and one of these assistant coaches, he kind of barks at me and he's like, Alex, I want to show you what your job's going to be. And I'm still thinking, like, all right, put me up in the press box, let me call some plays. You know, I'm thinking these types of things. Well, he walks over. Yeah, you guys are already laughing. He hands me this like yellow referee flag. And he hands me this flag and he says, Alex, um, in practice, we need someone to help us work on our discipline. And so he said, he kind of showed me, it's hard to tell you over video here how he did it, but he grabbed the flag and he said, Alex, when someone jumps off sides, you're gonna take this flag. He's like, wait for it, and you're gonna throw it on the ground. And the worst part about the whole deal is he like showed me how to do it twice. And I was like, wow, what a rocket scientist of a coach. I didn't say that, of course, but he's showing me how to do this. And at this point, I'm almost like looking around, like, all right, is this like the punked TV show or my friends behind this? You know, what's going on? But he was dead serious. And I said, Okay, what part of practice do you want me to do this for? And he said, We don't, that's not a part of practice. We need you to do this every single day, like this season. That's the that's your role. And so, long story short, my entire junior season where I thought I would be moving up in the depth chart, I'm I got the demotion of a century. I go from being an SEC quarterback to a flag thrower in practice, which isn't even a real title.

SPEAKER_03 9:05

Right.

SPEAKER_01 9:06

And that whole season, there's so many stories I could tell you. And my last thing I'll say is this um during that season, having teammates of mine, coaches, um, and just walking through that and me trying to add value however I could, not having a title being completely ripped from me, it was some of those relationships that year of little things, little encouragements people would give me. Things like, hey, Alex, I see you, man. Keep going. Man, thanks for sticking it out. Like these little things that kept me going during that time. Because here's what I'll say. I told the coaches that junior season, look, I'm not transferring. Like I have one more year of eligibility left. I want to get back on the team. So I'm literally, I'm after practice with the quarterbacks, I'm like in my street clothes, running sprints with the quarterbacks. Like I felt dumb. I'm like, in one way, I'm like, why am I doing this? People probably thought, what's this guy doing? Long story short, there's a lot more details, but for the sake of time, my senior year, I got back on the team as a quarterback. We went to the Citrus Bowl, we beat Minnesota. It was an awesome ending to my career. But here's why I opened up with the story on your guys' podcast today. In all my years as a player, and the one year that I threw that darn flag and had no title, I am here to tell you that I made a way bigger impact that one year that I did that. And I would even venture to say I probably wouldn't be on your podcast today if I wouldn't have walked through that season of having to learn how to add value when I had no title. And now say when I'm speaking and doing all these things, I'm able to now resonate with the student athlete, for example, who's injured, who's gone through a trial and be like, hey, I know what that's like. And so my core message I want to share with your audience today is this. And I had to learn the hard way. Leadership requires no title. And I think so often we get so consumed with like, man, what am you know, what's my title or what am I doing? It's like, what would it look like as an AD, as a student athlete, as a coach, to say, I'm gonna be more consumed with who I'm becoming in the process. And I think when you focus on that, uh, it it changes the way you perform, it changes the way that you lead. And it really, it ultimately changes the way that you live. And so that's my message as I as I share with different athletic directors across the country is hey, it doesn't matter how long you've been in your role, like what would it look like for you right now to make an impact? It doesn't matter what your title is. And so um thank you guys for letting me share that because that's a big reason why I think I'm I'm on your show today.

SPEAKER_03 11:30

Yeah, man, that's powerful. Uh, I heard you tell it a little differently, but man, hearing it firsthand is really, really good. And I think what you just said there to end, uh, even though I get I get enamored by you went from being a teammate to calling penalties on your teammates, that that couldn't have been easy at first. Yeah, you know, being an old baseball guy, I gotta think there's probably some arguing with the official there. Come on, because I imagine when you threw that flag, it resulted in your teammates getting a run or do some kind of conditioning or something.

SPEAKER_01 12:01

That's probably that's a great that's a great point. And you're right, that did happen because sometimes I'd be like, All right, this is my buddy. Do I throw the flag off? Yeah, there you go. It's not gonna be happy, but I'm like, hey, I got to survive here, I gotta do what I gotta do. So yeah, you're right, man. That was a it was an interesting dynamic for sure.

SPEAKER_03 12:16

Yeah, it probably took a couple practices for that respect and appreciation and encouragement to come because it probably wasn't very encouraging the first time you threw that flag on your buddy, but you did say be consumed with who I'm becoming. And you said, no matter where you are in your journey, no matter how old, and that is a philosophy, a mindset that we all can uh apply there. So, man, you you kicked us off with a great uh baseball card there. That's awesome. So, hey, let's jump into this book for three or four questions, if you don't mind. Uh, because like I said, Don and I both read it a couple years ago when it came out. It's fantastic, great, great leadership book. But uh, I wanted to start one one of the first lines in the book. Uh once again, we're talking about the book The Sell. And uh quickly in the introduction, you say, and and I'm gonna kind of quote this it's about social media. Uh you you call it a lie. The social media lie says that your success, fame, and fortune are the most important things about you, and that you need to achieve these things no matter the cost, even if it means compromising your morals, cheating the system, or hurting others in the process. So, simple question. I mean, this is on page one. Uh why was it so important to state that that statement there, state that that uh sentence almost immediately in this book that y'all wrote? Why why was that important to put there?

SPEAKER_01 13:41

That's a great question. And what's cool about that is a lot of you know, whether it's business leaders who will reach out, a lot of times do cite the beginning of that of like, hey, I really what something you said, the guy said there resonated. Because I think um, Josh, in our culture, it's like it's kind of counter-cultural in a lot of ways. When you talk about the the word integrity, you know, the root word, and for those who have not read the book, the message of the book. So for all of John Gordon's books, he has a different, you know, topic or lesson he teaches in each book. And so our book, The Sale, is a is a business fable and a leadership fable about integrity. And so when you think about the word integrity, the root word is integer, right? So you think back to school when you had the whole number, it's a whole or complete number. And I think it's pretty rare in our culture to be around an A D, a coach, who is uh a fully integrated leader. When you're around that person, there's something about them that you're like, whoa, they're the real deal. They don't just talk the talk, they actually walk the walk. And um, and I think that was that was why we said that to start the book is because in our culture, you think about social media, you think about uh Gen Z, this next, I'm a millennial, but this next generation coming up, their average time on their phone is over nine hours a day. And so they're constantly scrolling and trying to get gratification, edification from others. And so then it's like they're constantly comparing in a negative way. And a quote that I love is comparison is the thief of joy. And so, as a leader, you're constantly, if you're constantly looking around in an unhealthy way, you're actually robbing yourself of the joy that you could be having. And I believe that, you know, anyone listening to this podcast, if you own a phone, if you can listen to a podcast, you are blessed. You know, if you've ever been on a mission trip and seen people in other countries, you're blessed if you're listening to this episode. And so I think part of my message is how can you be, you know, be a blessing, you know, you're blessed to be a blessing. How can you have that mindset? And so, Josh, the reason the reason why we started out that way is because I think a lot of a lot of people, whether it's in athletics, in coaching, in business, very easily can rationalize um decisions and say, well, you know, I gotta be successful. So no one's gonna find out about this. So, you know, I'm just gonna cheat in this area, or I'm going to, oh, you know, I'm maybe a college coach is recruiting, and so they might just say a white lie to a parent or a kid to try to get him on campus or whatever. I think culturally it's almost like accepted, like, oh, if it's not a big deal, you're not hurting anyone. But I think it's just, I think we all know to be so true that your personal life, your family life, your uh work life, all these things actually I think mesh together a lot more than we realize. And so when you have stress at work or you're or you're you you're you're not being who you were called to be, and you're kind of not living in that integrity, it's gonna affect you at work. It's gonna affect you. Uh, there's a book called Um The Your Body Keeps the Score, right? It's you know, and just the mindset of uh these other areas of your life that you think have nothing to do with them actually affect each other. And so I think that's why we started out that way because we wanted to speak to the leader who is in athletics, who's in business, being very successful and saying, what would it look like for you to double down on the things that you know to be true about being a leader and to not constantly five buy into the lie of I have to compare, I'm never gonna measure up to that person and just that comparison that that plagues them. So I appreciate you saying that because I think it does, we tried to set off the book in a way that's saying, hey, we all see it, we all see the narrative kind of that media or the world is is telling us, but what does it look like for you as a leader to to drown out that noise?

SPEAKER_02 17:28

That's good. I I had my own little moment uh where when I took my first coaching job, uh the head coach uh who I'd known for a long time, very successful program, comes to me and he goes, Hey, we've got a very important job for you. It's a it's a critically important job. And I show up uh for the the day I was gonna get this assignment, and it was to pick up the biscuits outside of Hardy's at 5 a.m. for their meeting. And when I arrived with them, I was told to put them on the table, go to the back of the room, and not say a word. And so yeah, I've been there.

SPEAKER_01 17:59

Um yeah, so you're you're doing you're throwing biscuits, I'm throwing a flag. So there you go.

SPEAKER_02 18:04

Yep. Um, so staying with the book, uh, the sale, it outlines what it calls the four laws of integrity. Uh, you mentioned that uh that word a minute ago. And for us, uh, you know, that really felt like the heart of the whole message. Uh, can you walk us through what those four laws are again and maybe expand a bit on why integrity takes center stage here, uh, especially when business, whether it be business business or athletic business uh success, really seems to involve so many other moving parts.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

Yeah, that's a great question. I appreciate that. So when I go speak to a group of sales reps, for example, and you know, you'll get questions about, okay, how do I sell this better? How do I, you know, when you think about uh the first principle that you asked about, the first principle of the book is integrity builds trust. When you think about yourself as a leader, whether you're leading an athletic department or you're leading a business, um, when people see you uh in in the public and in private, when they see you in a way that is congruent, where things match up in a line, that congruency naturally moves into trust, right? So when I when I see you, Don, and I know, wow, I can count on him, I've seen his actions. Um naturally the trust is built. And naturally, I'm probably gonna want to do business with you or be around you or get to know you. Like that, that that pull just happens because you're attracted to that person. You're like, wow, they they are the real deal. And you know, when I go speak to a group of sales reps, for example, my encouragement to them is look, you're you're don't even view yourself as a sales rep. View yourself as someone who's finding ways to add value. So, for example, if you believe in the product you're selling, whether it's again your athletic department, your program, or it's literally a product, if you don't believe in it, if you don't fully believe in the in the way it can help someone, you're not going to be very successful, right? And that's why, you know, Josh, you mentioned earlier on this on this call, our website, shareyourstory.com, we help thought leaders with their books, their speaking, their media. And it's like, I can easily talk about that with other athletic directors, other coaches, because I I've seen what a book can do in your career. I can see what it does for your brand, your credibility. So it's I'm not actually selling, I'm just helping them, showing them, hey, here's like value and here's ways that it can actually help you solve problems in your business or your life. And I think so often it's like, how do I make this sale? Or how do I, you mentioned other business things. It's like, well, so often it comes down to when someone senses that you don't fully believe in what you're doing, or you don't have, you know, you don't believe in in the whole picture you're painting. It's people especially people want to rag on Gen Z and talk about, oh, you know, they're they show up late to work. But like Gen Z, they want to be part of something that they're passionate about and they want to work for leaders who are leading with integrity. And so I think that's a big part of this message is even thinking through in your leadership. You're gonna be working with people in different generations, but through the differences, are you building trust in a way where someone's like, wow, I can count on that person because not only they just talk about it, but I've seen them live it. And they're not perfect. Um, but sometimes I think building trust is saying, I don't know the right answer. Let's think about how should we look at this, rather than just making something up. And so I do think the reason why I believe it's the I believe leading with integrity is the biggest competitive advantage you could ever take into your profession. And I believe that to be true because so often you're around people in business who just aren't living that. And so, as a coach, as an athletic director, as a business owner, when you apply that and you say, Hey, guess what? Even if the profitability I'm making is lower, or even if I have to, something negative is gonna happen, but I'm gonna choose to. The right thing that comes back to you, right? People remember that. The world is small. I literally saw a post on LinkedIn uh this week from one of our authors, and he's in a he helps, he's like a he owns a talent management company. And 20 years ago, he was interviewing for a job, and the person said, sorry, uh pretty said a pretty offensive thing to him. Well, 20 years later, now the person I'm talking about owns a company, and he said, Guess who got in my DMs last week and asked for a job? That same person. But he had forgot about what he had told, he didn't remember him. And so the world is small, right? And especially in an industry, um, I just think the importance of starting there, everything flows from there. When you know what you stand for, decision making becomes easy. When you know who you are, what you believe in, what you stand for, it's really easy to, it's almost like I heard someone say this uh when referencing the book, it's like, is it easier? So, like if you're if you're if you're gonna be a bodybuilder, if you're gonna commit to being a bodybuilder, if you're 98% committed, is it easier to be 98% committed or 100% committed? Well, someone who's 98% committed, if someone comes up to you and says, Hey, I know you have a bodybuilding competition, but do you want this ice cream? And the person who's 98% committed has to think. They're like, Well, I could do this cheat meal. Someone who's 100% committed is like, hey, thank you. I'm good, appreciate it. But like I've already committed to the decision, so I actually don't need ice cream. That's not part of my routine, right? Um, so I think that's an example of when you get really clear on what you stand for, what you believe, selling's easier, recruiting's easier, leading's easier, because then people are bought into what you're what you're doing.

SPEAKER_03 23:43

Yeah, that's really good stuff right there. Really, really good. Uh uh stay uh stay on with the book. One more question, uh, just to dig in a little bit more. Uh uh, one of the biggest takeaways is the idea of having a mentor. Uh in the book, Matt meets with Randy, albeit for us educators who don't travel much. This routine meeting in a random airport between connecting flights is rather unique. Uh, just trying to tease the book a little bit uh in case people haven't read it, so they'll go get it and uh kind of understand, as you mentioned, that leadership, that business parable. Uh, it is it is a unique setting for somebody like Don and I who we go to school every day. There are people that go through the same airports every single week, right? That's that's very unique to us. But uh um there's also a very uh super successful business icon who also meets with Randy as well. So you got a young business leader and an old business leader. Um that this one random person in the airport is their mentor. Where in your life have mentors made a huge difference? And what advice would you have for aspiring and accomplished leaders when it comes to the value of having a mentor?

SPEAKER_01 24:57

Great question. So, Randy in the book. What's cool about that that question, Josh, is Randy is a real life person. So when I was in high school in Illinois, uh Randy, who now owns Dylan's Pizza in Chatham, Illinois, for any listeners out there, go go check it out. It's a real place. Randy was a very integral mentor in my life as in high school, as a high school athlete. And so I thought it was so perfect. And John Gordon loved the idea of having, you know, the name be Randy. Um, and as a mentor, and what's so cool to your question, um, you know, I if you ever heard of a quote, you know, in an abundance of counselors, there's victory. Um, literally tomorrow morning, tomorrow morning, 5 a.m., uh, I will be meeting with, he's actually a defensive coordinator, one of my best friends in college, and then a 73-year-old neighbor of mine, his name's Larry, he's our mentor. We meet every Friday morning at 5 a.m. The reason why I do it at 5 a.m. is because we got both of us got young kids. It's like work, it's like it's easy to be like, ah, well, let's move that lunch to next week. 5 a.m. I don't know about you guys, but I don't really have too much going on then. And so we're like, hey, let's do this thing. So for the last year at least, uh, maybe more, actually, we've been going through different books, reading different scripture, all kinds of different things, and we're just doing life, we're talking life with each other. And I'm just telling you right now, especially, you know, I'm 32 to here to download wisdom from a 72-year-old every single Friday morning at five, uh, is pretty valuable. And I definitely put um I pretty I put that high up on my list of things that um, yeah, I guess I would call it an investment. It's just a friend who's choosing uh to take time out of his life to do life together. But I would say for anyone listening, you gotta find, I'll even use John Gordon as an example. You guys had him on the on the show. When I was a quarterback in Bizzoo, John Gordon spoke to the athletic department. Kim Lambert, who's the athletic who was um in athletics then now, she's now the athletic director of the school in Iowa. She brought John in. And I went up to John afterwards and I said, Hey, that was amazing. I want to do what you're doing someday. Um, will you mentor me? Like, can I learn from you? And John was kind of testing me, I think. He said, he said, Well, are you willing to work for free? And I was like, Yeah, I didn't have any, he didn't know. I didn't have anything else going at the time, you know, just still in college. And um, and so for the last nine years, he's been mentoring me, right? I've just been trying to get around him as much as I can, learn from him, download from him. Well, now, nine years later, we are about to launch Gordon Publishing. So now for all these amazing athletes, coaches, thought leaders, they can now be published by John Gordon's publishing brand, which is amazing. And so I'm the point is it's being intentional. When you see something that you're like, oh man, like I would love that, or I would love to learn from this person. It's getting out of your comfort zone to ask. If I would have never asked John Gordon, who knows? I mean, we probably wouldn't be on this podcast because you wouldn't have read the book, right? And so um, I think um, you know, they say the you're the average of the five people you hang out with and things like that. I think that's true. Are you around people who are you are, you know, pushing you to get better? Are you around people who are also encouraging you? Like I'm in a small group with four, four guys, our families are uh our local community, and I'm just telling you, it it's it's very encouraging. It's very just doing life together. We were playing top golf, you know, two nights ago. Um, and so I would that would be my encouragement, especially for someone listening to this show who is saying, Hey, I don't know if I want to be in my job forever. I know I maybe aspire to do my own thing or do this. Find someone that's what you want to do and say, Hey, can I buy you lunch once a month?

SPEAKER_03 28:46

Right.

SPEAKER_01 28:46

Can I buy can I can I buy you lunch once a month? Right. And and so being willing to invest in those things uh will pay tenfold, no, no question about it.

SPEAKER_03 28:56

Yeah, I think I heard Mart Miller talking about that, um, Chick-fil-A guy talking about buy buy somebody lunch, be willing to buy them lunch, and that that goes a long way. Hey, will you repeat that quote about an abundance of counselors? I think that was really really good for for somebody to hear again.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

Yeah, in the in the abundance of counselors, there's victory. And I think that's so true. So often we want to do things, and actually, I didn't make that up. It's actually actually from the from the scripture. But um, when when you think about that, when there's an abundance uh of counselors, there's victory. So often we're in our own island or a silo and we're trying to do everything by ourselves, right? We're trying to figure it out. And it's like when you are around people who are smarter than you, better than you. I mean, when I think about uh my company, Streamlined Books, it's like we have brought in just amazing people who know way more about book stuff than I do, but that's intentional and because they're gonna serve the author better than I would. And so I do think to the to anyone listening right now, you and you're not in good community, you're not, you don't have a mentor. I would, even if it's someone younger than you, even um I met with an athletic director who was an uh an athletic director in the SEC. We got uh coffee three weeks ago. You guys would know his name. He's an amazing guy. And he actually asked for my advice at one point in the conversation. And to me, I'm not saying that like I'm the person with knowledge. What stuck out to me is his humility to be able to ask someone 40 years younger than his age, hey, Alex, what do you think about this scenario? And I was like, and I and and I think I gave him some really good thoughts, and he actually said, Wow, like I never thought of it that way. But to me, that spoke volumes of someone like that who's achieved a lot of success. You guys would know his name. He's willing to say, Hey, Alex, what do you think about this? And I know when I'm his age, I want to be, I want to, I want to be the same. I know I never want, I don't think any of us never want to get to the point where it's like, oh, I'm above hearing this, these thoughts or this advice. And and so that would be my encouragement. Find a mentor, find close friends that you can just bounce real life off of with each other.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

That's great. That idea that about downloading wisdom, I think that that's a pretty neat little way to kind of to put a bow on that. And the people that are listening to this, the local school athletic director, there is no one else on that campus or in that building that does what they do. Right. And if they don't get out of those four walls, it's gonna be very difficult to do the job. Uh, and so because there's not anybody that you can immediately go and touch and go, let's talk about this, because they're not going to be able to relate. Now, in your bio, you mentioned that you're passionate about helping high performance leaders take the next step in their leadership journey. Uh, that phrase high performance leader, it might make some listeners pause and maybe ask, is that me? I would argue that if you're asking yourself that, probably you're not, right? And so, how does someone actually gauge whether they fall into that category? And maybe from your experience, what is that next step for leaders who are performing well, but maybe feel a bit uncertain or maybe even scared about what could come next?

SPEAKER_01 31:59

That's a great question. And I really do think it actually comes back to something we said earlier, to something that Josh said. Um, I think it's a high performance leader is the leader who's saying, I'm more concerned with who I'm becoming than what I'm doing, than you know, what then what my title is. Because the the leader who's consumed with that, who am I becoming in the process? Um, you think about it like this. Um, we work with a lot of authors who have sold their companies, sold their businesses, right? And so they've made all this money, they've done all these things. And what's interesting when you talk to them about, hey, okay, you've achieved all this success, you have more money than you could ever need, like, what's that like? What's really interesting is some of them say, you know what, I've actually gone through a lot of depression because I gave up something that I really loved just for money. And, you know, the the second thing is, you know, they're they've kind of this identity has been removed from them, and they're less concerned with like, man, the impact, and they're more thinking, okay, I thought this money was going to make me happy. And so I do think there's an element of when another thing they say is, man, it was the journey of getting there was so fun. You know, like you hear coaches or athletic directors say the same thing. It's like, wow, what was it like to win the Super Bowl? And it's like, it was cool, but it was just like another day. And it's like when they retire, what they miss is like the grind and the journey and the climb. And so I think that's that's what I would say to an aspiring or rising leader. It's like, don't skip past these steps, um, that where you're maturing, where you're learning, where you're cultivating. Because a lot of times it's easy to look at the next stage of life and say, wow, if only I had that money, or I got that promotion, or I got fill in the blank. You're actually missing out on all the ways that you could be making a positive impact on people around you right now.

SPEAKER_03 33:49

Yeah, that's nice. That's good. I'm gonna I'm gonna change gears just a little bit here and go to something else I found, or we dug up uh from your website. Uh, I recently read a great book called Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Ghidaro. Maybe, I mean, it's top two leadership books I've ever read, probably. In it, he describes what he believes unreasonable hospitality looks like at the top restaurant in the world, right? You have a PDF download on your website called Seven Strategies for Intentional Impact. I think that title is very similar to the title of that book I just read. I think it's they kind of parallel each other. In your two-page guide, one of the strategies is encourage others lavishly. I don't use that word lavishly a lot, but that's uh that's a really good word. Uh I recently led a workshop at an AD conference and asked the room several questions. It was kind of the the direction I took. It was a bunch of questions and just uh led, you know, talk through questions. One of those questions was, how do you celebrate your people? Because that's really is a responsibility of ours as leaders, right? And celebrating our people. Your strategy to encourage others lavishly took me back to that point I tried to make in in my question, but I like how you said it better. Talk about how encouraging others lavishly makes such an impact on the people of the organization and why it is one of your top seven strategies leaders should implement.

SPEAKER_01 35:21

Yeah, wow, that's a great question. And actually, what's cool about that is as a team, um, we are actually going through that book right now, which is really exciting. So we literally just sent copies to all of our leadership team of Will's books. That's really cool.

SPEAKER_03 35:33

I just my wife is uh chastised. She says that we're gonna go bankrupt for me sending the book to other people too. So I've kind of got put on an Amazon restriction because I'm sending it out as well.

SPEAKER_01 35:44

So hey man, if that's your worst complaint your wife has for you, you're doing pretty good. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Uh but uh um, yeah, I think I think um I think of also uh Jesse Cole with Savannah Bananas. If you guys had him on the show, he yeah, he he he's someone that I think about who you know is so extreme and is doing things at such a high level, but people feel so cared for. Like when he talked, uh uh heard him speak recently, he talks about, you know, when we work with a new client or they are part of what we're doing, their lives will never be the same. You know, and they and they tell people they tell them that. And so we've even tried to think through in our organization, we go help someone share their life message or their story in a book, you know, like um leading with that of hey, guess what? You you now get to go not only just talk about yourself or your story, you can go help people. And I think um it's almost I think about it like this. If you knew a sick person and you had a medicine to cure them, right, you would not withhold that from them. You'd say, hey, take this, you'll get better, right? In the same way, the gifts you have, um, the gifts you've been uh that you have to steward well, um, why are you withholding those from others? You know, I that's the question I would I would challenge everyone here with. Um, why wouldn't you do that? And so I think out of that mentality, um, if you can be an encouragement to someone, you don't know what your other uh coworkers, colleagues, student athletes are going through, well, why would you hold withhold encouragement from someone that could change the course of their day, their life? Like I'm sure all of us in this call have you could think back to pivotal moments in your life when someone affirmed you or encouraged you or spoke life into you, and you're like, whoa, like I didn't even, I didn't know they believed in me like that. And now you're ready to run through a brick wall for that person, right? And so I think um that's why lavishly encouraging people is part of it. And I think um when you're around leaders, organizations who do that, and there is a habit of that, it feels different. You want to be part of it. And I think that's what this next generation, Gen Z, that's what they're craving. They're on their phones all day, they're craving to be around something they care about that's close to their heart, but they also um are really good at uh identifying what's fake. Because think about it, they're scrolling for 10 hours. Again, I'm not trying to beat up on the on Gen Z's, not everyone scrolls for 10, 10 hours on their phone, but you know what I mean? Their generation as a whole is growing up on cell phones, right? And so they're very good at being able to censor what's real, what's fake. And so when they get into a real job, that doesn't change. Um, and so for leaders who think, well, we're gonna do it my way or the highway, and they better get with it, I hear what they're saying. There needs to be discipline, there needs to be love and accountability, all the all those things. But if you if you go too hard on the uh kind of uh hard leadership side, don't be surprised when that person leaves your organization and goes somewhere else. You know, it's like I'm a millennial, I was one of the millions of millennials in COVID who quit my job, you know, because I wanted to pursue what I'm passionate about. And so that would be my encouragement to a leader. Are you checking in on the people that you lead on not only how are they doing, but like how they perceive you are doing as a leader because that's super important.

SPEAKER_02 39:12

I'll tell you, I got a 15 to 17 year old in my house and they can spot a fake a mile away. So just reaffirming what you're saying. I mean, they if they don't believe it, they're not going to follow it. Now, there's something that we as athletic leaders are constantly asked to do throughout our leadership journey, and that's speak publicly. Now, we may not be given a keynote address like you do uh often, but we are regularly in front of our staff, our communities, specific groups, even just a team of players. You've spoken often about what it takes to be an impactful communicator. What are some of the key lessons that you've learned about public speaking that we can maybe apply in those everyday leadership moments? And then how do you rep that? Obviously, it's not like you can just seek a crowd all the time. So how do you rep that skill?

SPEAKER_01 40:00

Great question. I founded a company called Speaker School. So if you ever go to speakers, sorry, speakerschool.org, we have a company where we you get paired with the speaker coach and they help you define your message, help you practice your keynote, all those things. The reason why I did that is because in speaking to crowds, you do learn things. And um, one thing I would just say that is my biggest encouragement to anyone is be yourself. Because I think when I first started to get into speaking, I thought, okay, I need to be like John Gordon or I need to be like Tony Robbins or whatever. Yeah. But people perceive that as well and they can feel that and sense that. And like, for example, there's some speakers out there who are maybe rah-rah, really loud, yelling. If I tried to do that, I'm being inauthentic to who I am and what I whatever, it would be very not well received, right? And so for me, um, if I go step into a group of bankers or business people, I'm gonna start by trying to crack some kind of joke, trying to, you know, make fun of myself or do something that's fun and enjoyable so that that crowd in the first 30 seconds is saying, okay, he's not here to tell me like what I need, you know, need to do, but I'm I'll I'll listen to this guy. Because I do think another, another good advice I uh you know actually heard recently in conversation was early in my speaking career, you know, when you speak to an audience, there's just the statistics of it is there's probably 5% of the people in that room, and you guys could probably relate to this, who are either checked out, they're having a very stressful thing at home going on. So like you could have Michael Jordan on that stage and they're not gonna listen, right? They're they're on their phone, they're not listening, maybe they're asleep, whatever, you we don't know. Um, but early in my speaking career, I would almost try to like win that person over. So like as I'm speaking, and you guys can probably relate to this, giving a lot of speeches. You know, when you first start speaking, you're like, okay, what am I gonna say? As you speak more often, you're like, all right, who is the person in the crowd as you're speaking that you're like, I'm gonna turn that person? Like I'm they look discouraged, it looks, I am gonna make sure by the end of this they are smiling. And what encouragement I receive is, hey, don't actually, even though it feels weird, don't spend your energy or mental bandwidth on that 5% who's not locked in you. Give it all to the people who are wrestling with your message and who are locked in, who want to learn, who want to get better. So that has helped me a lot because it's allowed me to rather than trying to win over the person who's text who's texting, I don't know their personal scenario. I have no idea. And that's not my place to know, but my job as a keynote speaker on that day is to give my give my best. And um, so that those would be just a few quick encouragements I give to people who who speak a lot.

SPEAKER_03 42:41

Alex, can I interrupt you real quick? You said something there that I I think about when I'm sitting in the audience listening to a keynote speaker or the principal or anyone speak. I don't I don't want to be that five percent. How many times are we sitting at a table or sitting in a row and that person sitting beside us, or maybe even ourselves if we're telling ourselves, right? We probably all fall into it at some point in time if we're honest. But uh we're sitting beside that person and they don't want to be there. They're grumbling, they're whatever, they are that five percent. That it like you said, it could be Michael Jordan, their favorite uh you know, uh musician or whoever up there, and they could care less because they think they've got something more important to do. So I think we have the question was about being speaking, but when we spend most of our time listening, we don't need to be a part of that five percent. So that's a good point to to to make sure that we remember.

SPEAKER_01 43:37

That's such a good point because um, yeah, as you guys are, you're around high capacity leaders, you're around um, yeah, it's just interesting sometimes getting around um even famous people sometimes. I I love to just kind of like run like little tests as you know internally, I guess, where you're around someone like that, and just to observe like um sometimes are they good leaders? Listeners. And it's just sometimes it's sometimes it's kind of funny. You know, yeah, I don't know. I think, I think to your point, it's like you can really tell when someone's an active listener. And I know we're talking about in front of a stage, but even just one-on-one, it's like as a leader, how often are you phones down? You know, like something that in our household, it's like dinner time, phones are not the table. You know, we have a four-year-old and two-year-olds, they don't have phones. I'm talking about me and my wife, but even things like that, it's like, are you being intentional? Um, because it's pretty easy in this distracted world to not do that. Because I you can you can tell, man, you can you can feel it, you can sense it. And so, because to be an active listener, you have to say, I am choosing to learn from this person, to value them, to shut my own mouth and hear what they have to say.

SPEAKER_02 44:50

That's good. Yeah, that I I agree with you. I think that the more authentic you are, the higher level of connection that you can have. Because people, again, they're gonna pick up what you're putting down. And ultimately, the majority has the power to win over the minority in a situation like that, that where they can kind of nudge them, like, hey, man, listen to this, or man, get off your, you know, this is good stuff. But at the same time, let them. If they want to just stay on their phone and be stagnant and not get any better, just let them. Don't worry about it. As we come down the home stretch here, let's circle back to the book. Uh, one that has really had a real impact on our own leadership journeys. Uh, a lot of our listeners are athletic directors, coaches. Uh, and the subtitle of that book, The Number One Strategy to Build Trust and Create Success, that really jumps out, in my opinion. Uh, in athletics, especially, it's easy for coaches to focus on talent and scheme and the main ingredients for success in their eyes. And you'd know that, you know, playing quarterback at a high level, no doubt spending a lot of hours developing your skills, studying film, putting in, lifting weights, doing all that thing. But now you elevate integrity as the foundational trait of success, no matter the field. Why is that? What shifted your perspective to place integrity above everything else when everything else to most people is that vital ingredient to success?

SPEAKER_01 46:11

Yeah, it's a great question. And I think uh I heard John Gordon say a really good line on this. He said, you know, it's almost like, you know, character or your integrity is like um it's like a race car. And, you know, it's like if you don't have integrity, it's almost like you have a race car without a steering wheel, right? So it's like um it looks good from the outside, it's shiny, it's great, but man, a crash is waiting to happen. And uh, you know, I I heard Warren Buffett, he talked about, he said, trust is like the air we breathe. You know, when it's present, you don't even when you have breath, you don't even notice it. But when it's absent, you can't help but notice because you can't breathe, right? And so I think to your question, why is it the most important? Because without it, you are nothing as a leader. Without it, you will not be successful as a leader. Um, I think about the quote that I love this quote: your talent sets the floor, but your character determines your ceilings. And it's so true. It's like, you know, your talent alone might get you the job, it might get you your first AD job. But guess what? Your character will keep you there, or your character will continue to elevate you beyond that job. Um, and so I think so often in our culture, we're obsessed with talent. And my encouragement and John's encouragement is guess what? Your talent should keep going up and to the right, but your character should also keep pace with your talent and and and for leaders not to get that confused. Because when you're when you have those aligned, look out, world, you're gonna be a very um high capacity leader, as you said earlier.

SPEAKER_03 47:52

I love all that. That's that's good. I can't wait to really process that uh after going back through this thing. All right. So, Alex, we're gonna finish this part of the conversation with a question we are asking all of our guests this year. It's really a statement that you're gonna respond to, if you don't mind. Uh it comes from the statement we're gonna uh share with you, comes from the book, The Five Graces of Life in Leadership by Gary Burnson. Just a little short kind of coffee table read. Um, but he says in there uh on page 28, leadership. It starts with a leader, but it's not about the leader. How do you respond to that statement?

SPEAKER_01 48:30

Yeah, I think it's hard to do anything well. It's hard to do anything at a high level without amazing people around you. And I think um when I would I'll just use an example. When I first started um co-founded Streamline Books, it was more about like, all right, how can we get the first client? Um now the conversations I'm having even before this interview with one of my team members is how can we get this awesome person involved with what we're doing? Because, you know, so I do think without the without other people, uh, good luck. And I think um goes back to what we said earlier, find your tribe, find the people who are going to speak truth to you, even when sometimes uh you need to hear it. And I think when you go back to your question about mentors, find someone in your life who cares enough about you to tell you the truth. Because so often it's easier to be like, ah, let's I don't want to offend them, I don't want to talk about that. Get people in your life who can call you out and can tell you the honest truth, and because that's where you start to see growth.

SPEAKER_03 49:34

Yeah, I like that. I like the way you put it. Find someone who cares enough about you to tell you the truth, not just a truth teller, but they care about you. I think that's a good perspective to have. Well, Alex, you gave us a lot today. Uh, I imagine if if folks are driving or on a treadmill and they couldn't take notes that they're gonna want to rewind and and and sit down with a pen and paper. So that's uh a lot of good stuff to apply to our life. Thanks for joining us. Thanks for sharing some uh some good nuggets with us. And we finish our show with a two-minute drill. So we're gonna have a little fun here if you got time for that and uh get to know you a little bit better. I'll let Don Key kick us off with that.

SPEAKER_02 50:10

All right, Alex, we're gonna see if you've still got a two-minute drill in you. So we're gonna hit you with some rapid fire questions. You just tell us the first thing that comes to your mind, okay? What was the first job you ever had ever in your life?

SPEAKER_01 50:22

Camp Counselor in Branson, Missouri.

SPEAKER_03 50:25

All right. What would be your walkout song? Believe by the bravery.

SPEAKER_02 50:32

What is one word that describes you?

SPEAKER_01 50:37

Determined.

SPEAKER_02 50:38

There you go.

SPEAKER_03 50:39

Uh what is your most used emoji?

SPEAKER_01 50:46

Probably the rocket ship emoji, just because uh if you've been trying to grow things or excited about lifting taking things off the ground and lifting off. So rocket emoji.

SPEAKER_03 50:56

John and I have a mentor guy, and that's his deal. We're getting off the stage coach, you get on the rocket or a spaceship, and he sends us that rocket ship thing all the time. It's that that's an encouragement when you get that one. I I like it.

SPEAKER_02 51:09

Yeah. All right, Alex, let's play a game of uh hot or not. So these are things that are either you agree or hot take or they're not. So if you say hot, you agree with it. If you say not, you don't. Plant-based burgers.

SPEAKER_03 51:23

Not all right, hot or not, the comeback of vinyl records.

SPEAKER_01 51:31

It's probably hot, but I'm not listening to any of them. So I'm right there with you, man.

SPEAKER_02 51:36

All right, hot or not, cooking at home versus takeout.

SPEAKER_03 51:42

My wife cooks good food, so I'll say hot. There you go. All right, last hot or not take, standing desk.

SPEAKER_01 51:50

Well, because I'm at a standing desk right now, I'm gonna say hot.

SPEAKER_02 51:53

There you go. That's a good one. I figured I figured you were. All right, next question. Uh, we use uh Brett Ledbetter's 365 questions on here. So I want you to pick a number between one and 365. He knew exactly what that was gonna be. All right. What's the most meaningful goal that you've set for yourself but fell short of?

SPEAKER_01 52:16

Well, in when I was in high school, I mean my sister got into an argument and it somehow got to where we were, she's like, Oh, you're not you're not determined or strong-willed. And I was like, Oh yeah, we were at McDonald's, my family, and I said, Okay, yeah, these French fries, I won't have french fries for a year. Watch me. She goes, No, you won't. I went like seven years without having French fries, but then on my honeymoon, we're at this all-inclusive resort, and I like probably gained five pounds on my honeymoon because there was all these cheese fries. So I eventually let go of the goal, I guess, is my answer.

SPEAKER_02 52:50

So yeah, all right, fair enough.

SPEAKER_03 52:53

That's good. No french fries.

SPEAKER_01 52:55

But I still have them, just to be clear, I have I have them now.

SPEAKER_02 52:57

So it didn't take, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 53:00

I think I did that with Chick-fil-A fries for a couple months, but uh not not seven years now.

SPEAKER_01 53:06

Think about Chick-fil-A fries is they're holy fries. So you you're you're you're good if you have those ones.

SPEAKER_03 53:11

Very true. That's good. All right, I'll go have some in a little bit. Um, what was the first concert you ever went to?

SPEAKER_01 53:20

Audio adrenaline, I think.

SPEAKER_02 53:23

Deep cut. Uh, if you could instantly master one skill, what would it be?

SPEAKER_01 53:31

Being an amazing athletic director.

SPEAKER_03 53:34

There you go. Speaking to the audience. Okay, let's finish with this. It's our trademark question today. Alex Demchick, you've been hanging with the ADs, but let's say you could hang out with anyone, who would that be of why?

SPEAKER_01 53:48

I have a good friend who's an A D that you guys need on the show. His name's Sam Ferguson. You guys had Sam on here? Look him up. He's uh he was at uh McMurray University, he brought me in to speak six times, then he went to Abilene Christian, now he's at a new new school uh in Texas. And uh yeah, look him up. Sam Ferguson, he's a great guy, has an amazing story, great leader. So I love I love getting time with Sam. And uh, but you guys, you guys didn't get him on this episode, he'd be amazing.

SPEAKER_02 54:14

That's awesome. We'll do Alex, thank you so much for the time today. We find great value in speaking with those outside of our space and then using their tools to improve what we do daily. So thanks again.

SPEAKER_03 54:24

Thank you guys for having me. Well, what a great opportunity that was to sit down with Alex Demchik. We're so grateful that Alex reached out to us and said he would love to uh join us. And man, what an opportunity that was to listen to all the nuggets and the wisdom from a great author. If you didn't get it, if obviously you probably heard us say multiple times, the book The Sale that he co-wrote with John Gordon is a game changer. It's up there on the uh on the top of the shelf. So I would encourage you to get that book if you have not the sell, and it's all about integrity and what you do. Uh, none of us can hear that too much or read that too much. So look forward to maybe hearing your reviews on that book, but also this podcast as well. Alex talked all about integrity throughout this conversation, obviously, and it was so refreshing and such a great reminder. Talked about leading with integrity is the biggest competitive advantage you can take with you. Wow, what a nugget there. Leadership requires no title. He kicked off his story talking about that. Instead of just giving us a back of a baseball card, he gave us a nugget to put on that baseball card. So leadership requires no title. Alex, thank you for joining us today. You left us with so much. Uh, if you're a listener and you were not taking notes, uh, if you have not convinced yourself to go back and do it, I would encourage you to go back and do that. You know, he said something like, in the abundance of counselors, there is victory. I love that quote. I think he said it was scripture, but it sounded good the way he said it. I'm a big mentor person if you've listened to our podcast and have several mentors that I meet with, and I just think about those abundance of counselors that help me get to where I want to go and help me make decisions in my life that I'm just not capable of doing. You may be the same way. Alex challenged us today to have an abundance of counselors so we can find victory in all the battles that we uh fight. So hopefully you found something in this conversation from Alex Demchick. I know we did. We sure do appreciate Alex joining us and uh sharing from his heart there. Before you leave, if you do not mind, we would love to get a rating, a review to help our podcast get to other listeners. We're going into uh the middle of season five, I believe this is. And just to try to get new listeners, you can help us out by leaving us a rating, a review would be great. And as always, we thank you for spending your time hanging with the ADs.